You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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