I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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