Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
