Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
