My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
bring money and cleavage
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
