After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
