okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
