Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
