not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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