I cockslap morals
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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