so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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