If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
