I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize