I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
