i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
