toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
