Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
