I want to stick my p in your. b.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All I want is dick and wine.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
