what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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