quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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