Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize