why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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