I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
