is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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