:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we're chasing vodka with high fives
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize