you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
