is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
