carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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