New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize