Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
