How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
