why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
