Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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