They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
