Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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