fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
