i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
