Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize