I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
