I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
