the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
