Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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