I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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