...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
