omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
