party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
