some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
