everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize