i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
