I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
