I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize