i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
