I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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