HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
