I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
