i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
