So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
