I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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