Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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