there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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