Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
